ONE?!

I cannot believe our little stud is already one. This year flew by! On November 10, Andrew joined the one year old club. I never did his 11 month update so I will combine these two.

11 months- started walking and talking - took a few steps at first (some of his first steps were at Meineke) and now runs all over the place and falls a lot, says words like dada, ball, all done, more

12 months- walks so fast and falls less, says same words plus Jesus, working on his 7th tooth, weaned from nursing, eats almost everything, shakes his head no, can dance!

Andrew is a big boy and is bigger than other kids his age. I can't wait to see his weight/height at his checkup. Andrew weaned from nursing just before turning one. He slept terribly on our trip to Kentucky for my Grandpa's funeral in mid October at 11 months old and I could only calm him down with nursing. He was up every hour or two, it was really hard and frustrating. Andrew has never slept through the night and so being exhausted we realized it was weaning time. After our trip we got him nursing less and less and eventually he was able to get to the point where Jon could just rock him back to sleep without me nursing. So now Andrew is almost sleeping through the night and we are letting him cry some so he will start sleeping better. It is hard but it is working and it worked for Jackson too. I have slept through the night 2 or 3 times and I always wake up wide awake at 5. Andrew did the best ever last night and only woke up 1 time, cried for 30 minutes and went back to sleep right as Jon and I were going to bed. My body is not used to a full night's sleep but I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. The first year is always so hard but also so special and I am always sad when it flies right by.

Speaking of sleep Andrew is finally taking legitimate naps of 2-3 hours at times. He doesn't have to cry himself to sleep all.the.time. like he used to. In fact he almost never has to cry to get to sleep, he just plays happily until he sleeps. We have made major progress this last month, our prayers are being answered.

He is the happiest little nugget and LOVES to read.  Favorite books right now are Brown Bear Brown Bear What Do You See and The Little Blue Truck. He also loves the body book we got him for his birthday. He loves having us play with or near him and wants to be wherever we are. We are usually all together because both boys like to be with us at all times. Also, since getting his bear I taught him to growl and that is super cute.

We kept his first birthday super simple. We let him open a present (book) when we all woke up around 5. I had a hard time waiting all day to celebrate. I babysat for a friend most of the day. And I made the ugliest train cupcake cake- the frosting didn't turn out at all and I was rushing and stressing. But it looked ok in the end, especially in the dark candlelight.  When Jon got home, we ate chicken pot pie, had cake and ice cream, a bath, and presents. It was simple with just our family and was the perfect way to celebrate. I am all into simplicity and low stress.

We got Andrew a small matchbox car, a book, and a bath toy (boat and penguin). Grandma and Grandpa Bohn got him some plastic animals and a build a bear which he loves to snuggle with! Grandma Lilly send $10 which will go into the bank.

Words cannot describe how blessed I feel. Weaning Andrew was definitely needed but it is hard to let my baby go. He gives the tightest hugs and has the best squishy cheeks to kiss. He is one of a kind and we love him so very much.

                                                               11 Month Pictures first:

The boys drumming at Mom and Tot Preschool, Rendee Jarvis and Quinn in background

A hot October day!

playing with daddy's name tag

12 months/Happy Birthday!

cuddling his build a bear 

Jackson was really excited about presents and had a little jealousy but overall did okay.

cleaning up after cake and ice cream, splashing away.

He loves his bear!

I Guess I Am Sad

On Saturday night, I found out that my grandpa had taken a turn for the worse and shortly afterwards, he passed away in his sleep. I was actually relieved because in the past few years he was diagnosed with Dementia and in the last year/several months he had taken a turn for the worse. The difference in him between when I saw him in the summer of 2015 and when we saw him this summer were very drastic. He could hardly talk and didn't know who a lot of people were. He seemed confused, could barely walk, and just seemed to be near the end. After our reunion this summer he took a turn for the worse and became a little violent. They advised my grandma to put him in a home, which we all knew was needed. But we also knew he would probably go downhill fast once in a home and he did. My parents were at my house last week and said grandpa was worse the last time they saw him. They were planning to go back in November.

I tried not to feel sad and for the most part I wasn't. Grandpa was 86, died in his sleep with one of his daughters by his side. He lived a good life, and I couldn't ask for more. I knew he was finally reunited with his first wife, my grandma who died when my mom was in her early 20's. So I truly was happy that my grandpa had "graduated" and moved on to the next life. I was happy he was free from the confusion and pain of Dementia. And I still am happy. I am grateful for the reunion we had for him this summer and for the goodbye kiss I gave him.

But today, I finally go time to think, and for the first time I cried. I am sad. I miss him and cannot imagine life without him. He is the only biological grandparent I have known. When I was single I prayed for years that he would stay healthy long enough to perform our sealing. I was so blessed to have my prayers answered and my dreams fulfilled. He went downhill not too long after we got married. I am sad. I don't want to be sad but I am. I know the resurrection is real and I have no doubts about it. It feels good just typing out my thoughts even though they are scattered. I love you Grandpa!

Grandpa said, "I only dive." So Jon had to make sure it was safe. Hard to believe this was just a few years ago.

Back when I was pregnant with Jackson, Grandpa said the baby told him it was a boy. I guess he was right.

kissing Andy Griffith 

All Better (I think/hope)

So I had my eye operation about 10 days ago. I was nervous but it wasn't too bad. The numbing shot was THE. WORST. I told the doctor I would rather have a baby than do that but she pointed out that the pain was much shorter than birth. Truth.

Anyway, they put a surgery cap on me and laid me down. Then, they numbed my eye with the worst shot of my life and then covered my face up. The prep was the longest part. In seconds they told me they were done. I didn't even know they did it, but they had removed my little bump. They wrapped my eye up really tight and that was tough. I quickly realized it would be really hard to see to drive home because my glasses didn't fit over my patch and my right eye is my dominant one. I had a minor panic after they told me I could not lift over 10 pounds for 2 weeks. I cried a lot and texted mom and Jon. I probably should have had Jon drive me home (he was at work) but I made it home safe. I fell apart at home because I had to keep ice on and off every 10 minutes and was trying not to lift the boys. I couldn't see much because of having ice on all day so I finally asked Jon to come home. That helped a lot. I took a nap and felt a lot better.

After the first day, everything was a breeze and I just have been putting medicine on my wound 3x a day. Today was my last day of medicine and tomorrow I go back for a check up. They biopsied my little bump so hopefully I can find out what caused it. The redness in my eye went away immediately so now I know for sure that was the cause. I just wonder if I can maybe wear contacts again soon. I sure hope so!

Here are some pictures, they are out of order and I look disgusting but enjoy!

right after surgery

the day of, some bruising and swelling

this is my eye as of this post, there is still a bruise line that looks like I went crazy with purple eye liner

my redness pre-surgery, it was worse in real life

red eye, and no I am not cross eyed as this picture shows. haha

9 months/10 months

I am running behind on everything as usual. Andrew turned 9 months in August. And now in September he turned 10 months on the 10th. He is changing so fast and getting so big. He got his first hair cut this month so the mullet is gone. I love his new hair and it still sticks up and probably always will. He has my super fine hair.  Andrew has suddenly started nursing less which is a blessing because he was nursing constantly for a long time. He still nurses several times a day but eats food a lot too. He refuses to be fed by us. I finally decided to stop fighting him so he eats baby food from a pouch or crackers. He LOVES Ritz Crackers. He has had some rough times with sleeping and last month I felt like I was on the verge of a breakdown. But the last few days he has napped better and slept better at night. He is still in our bed a lot but I think it is getting better. As long as he isn't teething or sick he is such a happy baby. He loves to be chased. He loves to play and is really into reading now. He learned how to clap and wave in the last 2 months. He also learned to say uh oh and mama as of the 22nd of September, when I am writing this. He is starting to stand more and wants to walk but gets nervous and sits back down.

Jackson's imagination has exploded lately. We have been doing a lot of play dough lately, especially when he is getting wild. It is the perfect way for him to calm down and be creative. He was making car parts and putting them on his vehicles the other day. He also says the cars are "stuck in the mud." Yesterday, Jackson made a car seat and a seat belt out of play dough. He also will create things with his food. The other day he was eating toast and made it into a bucket truck and then a bus. He frequently makes things into buses or sees buses in the shadows. I love his love of buses. He has a ton of crazy energy and mostly doesn't nap anymore so that has been a new challenge. The goal is for him to still have quiet time everyday but he resists it some. He goes from being sweet and helpful to Andrew to hitting, pushing, yelling. It is hard to deal with that behavior but I love when he is sweet and comforts Andrew. Sometimes if they are playing alone I will hear Jackson tell Andrew about certain things or say things like "Daddy had to go to work but he will come back later." Or, "It's ok Andrew, Mommy will be right back." This melts my heart. They also love to play hide and seek together.

Andrew at 9 months, I guess I forgot to take the usual pictures. 

10 month pictures

in his race car costume, he decided to make the box a race car

he wanted the police to get him for speeding. haha

wanting all my ice cream

I may have bribed Jack for these pics but it was worth it.

These boys keep me going constantly and sometimes drive me crazy, but I love them with my whole soul.

The Eye Drama

Sometime in May around Memorial Day, I started having redness in my right eye. It became bloodshot and slightly irritated so I quit wearing my contacts for a few days. That same weekend Jackson came home from our trip with pinkeye, so I assumed I had the dreaded eye of death again. Yuck. Well I didn't have any pink eye symptoms so after a week or so of minor problems and no contacts, I went to my eye doctor. The eye doctors at my office rotate so I got a doctor who was young and inexperienced, He had to look up his doctor's license number when writing my prescription. Anyway, young doctor guy said it was allergies and sent me home with some drops and a follow-up appointment. A week later at my follow-up, my eye looked better so I was approved to put in contacts. I was so excited that I put my contacts in on the way home. (I hate wearing glasses). Before the night was through, after only a few hours in my contacts, my eye was red again. So it seemed the contacts were the issue.

I switched to a new eye doctor closer to home and went to another appointment. The eye doctor said it appeared I had a clogged oil duct. I had a lot of red bumps in my eye which is an issue contact lens wearers have. He suggested a steroid drop and the wanted to switch me to daily lenses once the infection cleared. When I went back in, they fitted me for contacts, even though my eye wasn't better. Bad idea. Then, I came back a week later, to see how my contacts were, but I told the doctor I hadn't even worn the contacts because my eye was still irritated. This time I was with a different doctor at the new place and she was not very nice. She said, "look at my eye, it has redness too. Eyes do that sometime." I was annoyed because she hadn't read in my chart about how this had been going on for a month. She thought I was just making stuff up.

After some investigation she realized my eye really was having issues and both eyes were actually. She flipped my eyelid upside down and then tried to pop a bump on my lower eyelid. She wanted to put me on a strong drop but after realizing I was breastfeeding, she placed me on an allergy drop, again. This drop made my eye worse and not better. This doctor really had no clue what drugs were safe for nursing and she was googling it while I was there. It was so weird.

So then I went back to see the main doctor I had been seeing. He was a little stumped but put me back on the steroid drop for a month with tapered use. My eye looked a lot better all month. Basically as soon as I stopped the drop, the redness returned. I was stressed about using all of these drops because they can lead to glaucoma and cateracs. ahh! So I went back to the eye doctor and he was surprised I was still having problems. He noticed that I have a small bump on my lower eyelid. This bump appeared around the same time as all of my other issues. He referred me to a plastic surgeon. He said it was a shot in the dark but the bump could be emitting a virus that is causing the redness.

Off to the plastic surgeon I go for a consultation. This was last Friday. She was cold and not friendly at all. I told the nurse I was breastfeeding and also noted that on the medical forms I filled out. We scheduled surgery for Monday. I was really nervous but also excited to get this whole ordeal over with. I prayed to know if it was right and got a blessing from Jon. I felt nervous but good about it all. I arrive for the surgery and decide to double check about the breastfeeding thing, just to ensure it is all safe. The nurse assures me it should be fine and gets me prepped for surgery. I paid, sat on the table, put a blue surgery cap on. As the doctor walks in, the nurse asks about the breastfeeding. The doctor says, "did I know you were breastfeeding?" When I told her it was on the forms I filled out, she admitted she had not read the forms. She said I could withhold breastfeeding for 24 hours just to play it safe because the medicine can cause rapid heart rate in infants. I was so torn, I didn't know what to do. I have been wanting to work towards weaning but I didn't want it to be so abrupt. I also wanted to get the surgery over with. So we discussed for a few minutes what to do and since it is a "benign lesion" as she calls it, we decided to wait until I wean Andrew.

So when I finally think I have this whole several months long eye issue resolved, I have to leave the surgeons office with eye bump in place and red eye still there. It was hard but what else could I do? I couldn't risk harming Andrew. I just wish I had been more assertive before hand to ensure they were aware of me breastfeeding. That same day I also realized that my lovely eyelid bump was indeed touching my eyeball. All the dang time. So no wonder my eye is red and getting worse. There is something rubbing on it 24/7, even when my eye is shut. So after calling my mom for advice, she suggested calling the doctor to get the list of medicines and then calling the pediatrician to see what they said. I did this and they referred me to a lactation consultant.

The lactation consultant ensured that the drugs would be fine and would not harm Andre!w at all. She thought it was silly that the doctor withheld surgery and said they were basing their opinions on 40 year old information. So I have rescheduled the surgery for September 12. That is the soonest they can do it. Until then, I am anxiously awaiting to rid myself of this tiny pest and hope it will solve all of my eye problems.

So hopefully my eye will be better soon!

8 Months!

Andrew is 8 months old now! He wants to walk so badly but lacks the balance. He crawls really fast now and can cruise (walk while holding onto things). He pulls himself up to stand whenever possible. And he is now a major climber. He can climb stairs and anything else, it is so natural to him. He has been taking much better naps now and sleeps better at night and in his own bed more. He still wakes up several times at night to nurse. Andrew is working on his 4th tooth now. He is a magnet to water and loves the toilet and swimming and baths. He has already been caught playing in toilet water. :( He loves to play with Jackson and still has no stranger danger. He has also been healthy all month which I think is a first.  Andrew loves music and goes nuts when we play piano or guitar. Jackson will also play on the melodica which sends both boys and mommy into a laughing spell. It's hilarious! He loves to climb all over us, especially our faces. He claws and/ pinches our eyes, lips, and skin. He also loves to pull hair. He will claw at my face and hair while nursing too. He can hardly sit still to nurse because he is on the go constantly. He will also roll and kick when nursing. He is a funny guy who is so sweet. The first thing people always notice are his big brown eyes and how big he is. He really isn't that big but he is pretty solid and is so strong. We love him so much and he definitely keeps us on our toes.

first time sitting in the cart!

fist time in the cart together

Time is flying by

And just like that, 6 months turned into 7. Andrew is so strong and so mobile. He crawls now, although he isn't too fast yet. He will leave rooms and comes to find us if we leave him. He can sit up now and pull to stand. He loves walking while holding fingers and loves to play tag. He will run faster if you are coming to get him, it's hilarious. He will also turn the other direction to get away. He is so fast on his feet and I'm amazed he understands how to run away (with help). He is strong and way more of a dare devil than Jackson. He loves water and being around people. He prefers big boy toys to baby toys. He is so happy even though he is constantly sick. He is the most easy going dude ever.  Totally like his daddy.  He is finally getting over another bad cold and even had to be on a nebulizer for wheezing. 😞 He still prefers to nurse but will eat baby food when I'm gone and he's with Jon. Andrew has had formula a few times when he is too congested to nurse but sometimes he will refuse it. He isn't sleeping great at night due to being sick but hopefully that will improve when he gets better. We did move him out of our room and that was weird at first. Andrew will be taking his first camping trip this week, we are excited to test our new to us little pop up camper.

That tongue is always out!