On Saturday night, I found out that my grandpa had taken a turn for the worse and shortly afterwards, he passed away in his sleep. I was actually relieved because in the past few years he was diagnosed with Dementia and in the last year/several months he had taken a turn for the worse. The difference in him between when I saw him in the summer of 2015 and when we saw him this summer were very drastic. He could hardly talk and didn't know who a lot of people were. He seemed confused, could barely walk, and just seemed to be near the end. After our reunion this summer he took a turn for the worse and became a little violent. They advised my grandma to put him in a home, which we all knew was needed. But we also knew he would probably go downhill fast once in a home and he did. My parents were at my house last week and said grandpa was worse the last time they saw him. They were planning to go back in November.
I tried not to feel sad and for the most part I wasn't. Grandpa was 86, died in his sleep with one of his daughters by his side. He lived a good life, and I couldn't ask for more. I knew he was finally reunited with his first wife, my grandma who died when my mom was in her early 20's. So I truly was happy that my grandpa had "graduated" and moved on to the next life. I was happy he was free from the confusion and pain of Dementia. And I still am happy. I am grateful for the reunion we had for him this summer and for the goodbye kiss I gave him.
But today, I finally go time to think, and for the first time I cried. I am sad. I miss him and cannot imagine life without him. He is the only biological grandparent I have known. When I was single I prayed for years that he would stay healthy long enough to perform our sealing. I was so blessed to have my prayers answered and my dreams fulfilled. He went downhill not too long after we got married. I am sad. I don't want to be sad but I am. I know the resurrection is real and I have no doubts about it. It feels good just typing out my thoughts even though they are scattered. I love you Grandpa!
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| Grandpa said, "I only dive." So Jon had to make sure it was safe. Hard to believe this was just a few years ago. |
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| Back when I was pregnant with Jackson, Grandpa said the baby told him it was a boy. I guess he was right. |
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| kissing Andy Griffith |
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