Hmmpfh

People keep asking me how I feel. Overall I feel really good and much better than I did in the first trimester. I still feel nauseous sometimes and I am still throwing up although it is much less. My nausea pill helps out a lot, and I have come to accept I am not going to feel 100% for a while, and that is okay. Some days I feel super de duper over the top excited! I can't believe Jon and I are really starting a family together and will have a little one in our home. A lot of days though, I feel really overwhelmed and scared. I am afraid I won't be a good mom, or that I will be too overwhelmed and won't be able to handle it all. I am afraid of taking good care of the baby and still having time and energy to give to Jon. I am afraid of Jon being overwhelmed because he takes on so much and does so much for me already. I am scared of labor and delivery. I am nervous about breast feeding. And yes I am even a little nervous about the changes my body is going through, even though I know that is selfish. The thing that keeps hitting me the hardest is that I am really feeling depressed about quitting my job. I have been in the workforce for the last 5 years, and even in college I had "real job" for about 2 years. I love love working and I feel like I excel there overall. I definitely want to stay home with my baby and be a full-time mom, it is just a big change and I am nervous about how I will handle it. I don't want to end up bored or lonely. I know everything will work out and everything will be worth every sacrifice, but I am also realistic and I know it is going to be a big change and it is going to be tough. I feel so inadequate and unprepared to be a mom. I know I am great with kids, but I never had to stay up all night or care for them 24/7. It really is a big job.

I am SO happy to be in the stage of my life that I have dreamed about and hoped for all of my life. I really try hard to remember that my dreams are coming true and life is working out the way I always wanted it to. I know we have to have hard times to appreciate the good. I know that I can do anything with the help of prayer and the atonement. I also know that I love this little muchkin SO much already.

Not Baby Related

So, let's do a non-baby post, shall we? Not that we don't love our little one, but I thought it would be good to update on our other recent shenanigans.

Jon is starting grad school in about a week. I am really excited for him! (and also jealous) He was feeling a little unsure about everything, especially after he was accepted, but through prayer and trying to figure things out, he seems to feel very confident in his decision now. Jon had orientation last week which helped him be even more excited. I am a little nervous about having this big change along with the baby coming, but it sounds like at least the first year will be a lighter schedule. He is going to rock it! He is going into School Administration.

We have had a busy summer. We went to Utah, OBX, Virginia x2, and a YW High Adventure near Tennessee. We also had Jon's brother's family visit and my sister and her kiddos visit. It has been so fun seeing family, there is nothing that we love more.

We continue to stay so busy with church- Jon is in the YM presidency and I am the Primary Secretary. We have had so many investigators/converts/new members. We also have  2 sets of missionaries so we try to help out anyway we can. We also attend the "empty nesters" FHE sometimes. It is actually really fun to kick it with some of the older folks, we have really grown to love them. 

We really aren't too exciting. We work a lot and come home and work more. We had a fun date on Friday- went to the baby doc, went shopping, went to Panera, and played mini-golf. We go on a lot of walks and are happiest when we act ridiculously silly. We also go to the gym sometimes, but not a lot. That is really about all we are up too, but it feels like SO much more!

And here are some pics to prove we are alive:

Miss Jessi helped me cook, do laundry, clean, do my hair, and floss my teeth.

OBX with some of the extended Bohn family

playing a little Minute to Win it

Me and my girl

getting ice cream

she HAD to wear a headband like Auntie Janet

LOVE this kid!

first he hid from my camera, then he struck a pose

a little MMA action

catching fireflies

no trip is complete without a make-up attack...first Uncle Mike, then Uncle Jonny!

typical

lake house in Virginia at the Lilly reunion

my mom with her siblings and her dad

can't forget our cute pup Callie!

at the Andy Griffith memorial

so in love

Gomer?

we snuck away from the YW to fish and kiss...ok mostly we just walked around some cool house in the woods

Trimester Uno

I started this post months ago. Beware it is LONG!! I want to document this pregnancy, but since we aren't announcing it to the world yet, I will make some notes on the old blog, and just wait to publish it. The story: Jon and I have basically been planning for kids since we knew we were going to get married. We have not really been trying nor preventing for a while now. April was the first time we really tried and it happened!! I had times before, that I had thought I was pregnant and wasn't so this time I was not going to take a test until I knew I had missed my period. When we were in Utah for the funeral I was starting to feel like maybe I really was pregnant but still did not have any symptoms yet (just a feeling). The day after we got back (Monday, May 20th) I decided I just HAD to know! Plus my period should have come, but it wasn't really late yet. I had Jon pick me up a test when got the groceries (he said he didn't mind). I didn't go with him because my sister was here visiting. I took the test later that night and as soon as I took it a plus sign began appearing. I started yelling to Jon who kept saying No! No! (as in No Way!) He knew from the way I was calling him that it was positive and he was in shock. We laughed and cried and kissed (me still on the pot). Then we called our family. It was probably too early to tell people, but I just couldn't wait, I wanted all of our siblings and parents to know. We have waited to tell everyone else. I plan to wait until after the first trimester to really tell most people. So far:
 - I hate the smell of grass, and everything else. Everyone said that when you are pregnant you smell things stronger, but for me that isn't true. I always have a strong sense of smell (thanks to Kristen). Now it isn't that I smell things stronger, but everything smells different and I really dislike the way everything smells. I hate smelling anything and want to plug my nose permanently. - I hate the thought of food. I haven't thrown up yet, just a few times heaving (thank the heavens and knock on wood) but I do feel nauseous and nothing ever sounds good. I have gone from a food lover to someone who has to make them self eat, basically for survival. I have really been digging smoothies and ice. I wouldn't call it cravings, but my mouth always feels dry and I can't get it cold or wet enough. *OKAY* major update to this one. I wrote this very early on. I got to the point where I threw up at least once everyday and eating was so hard. At my first appointment, the doctor gave me a pill for nausea. This has helped a lot. Food still is my enemy though.
- I have had the worst taste in my mouth that I cannot get rid of. I hate it!! Tastes like I am sucking on pennies.
- Going along with what I just wrote- I am ALWAYS thirsty!! But this is pretty typical for the regular me actually. Same with going potty a lot- yes I am going a lot but I always do that.
 - I have this weird pain in the part where my ribs meet. It gets pretty uncomfortable and I have never heard anybody talk about this before. I also get side pains sometimes but they aren't too bad, just uncomfortable. I feel fairly healthy overall but take breaks in bed or naps almost everyday.
- Jon is so helpful. He is always offering to help me and is sympathetic of my complaints. I really don't feel that bad most of the time, but it definitely is a big change and there has been some discomfort. Jon is going to be the best dad. Watching him play with my nephew this past weekend (which was really back in June, I waited so long to post this) really confirmed that, although I already knew.
- I am so excited but also very nervous...our life is going to change SO much! I am very nervous about all of the pain of childbirth but I know I can do it. It doesn't quite seem real but it is sinking in. I have been looking up baby stuff online but am dying to make a Target run, hopefully this week. *Update* Jon and I have been looking at Target online and the store a lot. We also have started getting the nursery ready to paint!
- Going to the doctor for the first time was beyond incredible. We got to see our baby and hear it's heartbeat. It made everything so much more real. I was on such a cloud that day afterwards which made it really hard to focus on work. We love looking at the ultrasound pictures!

6/4/13- 6 weeks and 5 days

Baby Profile!! 7/2/13- 10 weeks and 5 days

 

07/4/13- 11 weeks