The Birth Story

I want to journal about the birth of our sweet son, and I figure blogging it will be easier than trying to write it all. I really want to remember every detail, so this will probably will be really long, so don't feel bad if you don't read it.

On Friday night, January 17, 2014, Jon and I had our usual weekly date. We ate dinner, and then headed out to pick up some flowers to take to a friend in the hospital. When we got home we decided to watch a move. We ended up watching Cinderella Man-my favorite, although Jon picked it. I fell asleep at the end of the movie and before bed I realized I was having some stomach pain- I can't remember now if they were contractions or what, but I think they were. They were only mildly painful though. At 2:30 on Saturday morning, I woke up with painful contractions that felt much different than Braxton Hicks. I soon realized they were coming close together so I timed them for the next few hours, while trying to doze on and off. Sometimes the pain would wake me up but other times I would just wake up wondering what was going on. After about 2 hours of this, I called the doctor to see what I should do. I had a lot of diarrhea and bloody show (sorry-graphic, I know). This made me feel like it might be the real thing. (Plus it was less than a week until my due date). I had tried showering and moving around some and they were still coming. The doctor suggested I drink a lot of water and wait around, although she said I could go to the hospital if I wanted. The contractions died down some in the next 2-3 hours, but I had also fallen asleep on and off so it was hard to know.

I called my mom around 7 to let her know I might be in labor but I might not be. Around the time I called her the contractions pretty much went away completely, except maybe one every half hour or so. Jon and I had planned to do pictures that day so we carried on as planned. He worked some in the laundry room and then we got ready and met our friend to take some couple maternity pictures. (We had procrastinated this longer than planned, with the holidays and everything going on.) We were supposed to do the shoot at 8:30 am but the night before we changed it to 2pm because it was so cold. Had we done it at 8:30 I may have cancelled- I was tired from being up half the night and wasn't sure if I might be in labor, plus I was not feeling great. Anyway, we went to meet our friend at 2 and she was running late, so Jon and I went to a new coffee shop in town to try a cupcake and some hot chocolate and so Jon could see the music stuff. She called while we were there so we headed out for pictures. It was sunny but freezing! The wind was so chilly. We took pictures for a while and I think we got some great shots. I had a few contractions on and off that were painful but not too disruptive- I was able to hide it.

We got home probably close to 4 and soon after I had a few more contractions but refused to write them down or think anything of it- due to the false alarm that morning. At 5:15 I decided to start writing them down again- they were coming more frequently and were stronger- making it hard to walk or talk during each one. They were also lasting longer than the ones from the morning. After 2 hours of this I called the same doctor again and she told me basically the same thing as this morning- they could go away or they might be real. I decided I would wait longer before acting. I called or texted my mom to give her a heads up and did some things around the house. I cleaned the bathrooms while Jon made dinner and cleaned things up. We both packed some last minute items and prepared to leave, just in case. After dinner, we walked the dog to see how my contractions would be. They were strong and it was hard to walk/talk during them. My sister in law called and when I told her she asked "Why aren't you at the hospital!?" Jon and I decided to head to Target by the hospital so we could be close just in case, but we weren't ready to go to the hospital yet (our birthing class nurse told us not to go to the hospital until you are hunched over in pain because they do not admit you until you are at 3 cm.) We went to Target and I was in pain but after each contraction was laughing and felt fine. After about 40 minutes I told Jon we needed to go to the hospital. He tried to put it off some, seeing how I was okay in between contractions. I got a little upset with him and said said that we needed to go. I was getting so uncomfortable and was having a harder time masking my pain at Target. I knew it was time. I texted my parents and told them I was one my way to the hospital. They said they were heading over, although I thought they may want to wait until we were admitted.

Triage was my worst nightmare. They stuck us in a room FOREVER and didn't even check to see if I was dilated for over and hour. The nurse was not very nice and they made me stay in the same position on the bed. If I moved at all the heart monitor wouldn't work. My tailbone and back were aching and the bed was rock hard. Jon was becoming impatient which is something that doesn't happen very often. We just wanted to know if we would be admitted or not. Finally they checked and I was at 2.5 and 90% effaced. Not quite enough to be admitted. They FINALLY let us walk around the hallways. We got to walk for close to an hour and then went back for another check. Of course we waited a long time and finally were told that I was 3.5 and could be admitted. YAY! We still had to sit and wait a long time and I was becoming more and more uncomfortable. The whole time in triage, the nurse kept leaving and saying she would be back in a few minutes which was about an hour every time. I had to get permission to go to the bathroom because I was hooked up to monitors. They acted annoyed every time I had to go to the bathroom- which was A LOT. It was a long and uncomfortable 4-5 hours. My parents arrived while Jon and I were walking around but they wouldn't let them come back since I was not admitted yet. I called my mom and waved to her through the glass.

Finally, around 2am they got me hooked up to an IV (which took a few tries), I met my nurse and the doctor. I walked to the room and met up with my parents. They let me walk around a little more with Jon and my mom. I was so desperate for an epidural by then- even though I had really wanted to try to go without. I was tired from being up the night before and I was worn out from labor already. I had been having contractions for 24 hours by this point. I was cold and shaking. When the doctor said she wanted to break my water, that was the moment I knew for sure I wanted an epidural. I was so freaked out and unprepared for that. I was too tired to ask questions or care. I walked a little more with my mom while my dad and Jon went to get our stuff from the car. My hospital bag was full of things I planned to use to relieve pain in labor - ice packs, heat packs, massagers, and even stuff to take a bath or shower with. Of course, we never even used any of this.

The anesthesiologist came in and was not very friendly or nice- very to the point and business oriented. The epidural was the worst part of the whole experience. She tried 3 different sites to get the epidural in. She kept having to move it and redo it. She said that my back was really tight and I have a lot of bones or that there isn't space between my bones or something. She also said she thought I had scoliosis. I feel like maybe she just was making up excuses, but I know my back is always tight from what Jon says. I kept having to re-position and she kept having to redo things. By the time the epidural was done, i finally just laid down and cried. I was so cold and shaking and I had tried to be tough for too long. The epidural was so scary and painful. I hated it.



The good news is, once the epidural was in and took effect I started to feel a lot better. I was able to get comfortable and eventually was able to sleep on and off for several hours. I woke up a lot to the nurse checking on me. She and Jon had to flip me several times because the baby's heart rate kept dropping. They eventually decided I needed to stay on my back, because that is what Jackson was responding best to. I also had to have Oxygen on most of the time to help keep his heart rate up. My parents were able to sleep on the futon in the room while Jon slept in the recliner next to me. It was really comforting having them all so close. Jon stood up every time the nurse or doctor came in and helped move me if needed or just listened to what they were saying. The nurse commented on what a sweet husband he was. I couldn't agree more. He was so involved and helpful the entire time. It makes me sad to think that some people don't have this type of support during labor. I would not have been able to make it through without him. Since Jon and I have been married, I always warned him that when we have kids and I am in labor I will probably scream, yell, and be mad at him. I guess in my head, that is how labor was (probably from what you see in movies), so I always prepared him for that. But thankfully, I did not act like that at all. We were both calm and happy throughout and I never became upset or yelled. I also pictured labor being hot but I was cold the entire time. I was also starving the entire time and pretty thirsty-which I knew would happen. I kept asking for ice chips all night.



Anyway, so early in the morning it got to where they told me I was getting close to time to push. The baby's heart rate was getting harder to keep stable so they were in moving me quite a bit to try to keep his heart rate up. They brought me in a liquid breakfast and told me I could eat a little. I always thought I would throw up in labor since I threw up a lot during pregnancy. At that point I didn't care, I wanted food. I ate a little orange sherbet thing that supposedly had some protein in it. It wasn't filling but I think it helped give me energy and feel a little better. Finally around 9:40 they let me push. At first I thought "this is so easy!" It didn't hurt and wasn't too tiring. I had a nurse holding my right leg and Jon holding my left. They all cheered me on and it seemed simple...at first. Then I began to get tired. First just my legs were tired so I asked to relax or straighten them out between pushing. Then the contractions were stronger and stronger. The epidural was wearing off just enough where I wasn't in major pain but I could feel the contractions in my bum. Everything they told me about pushing at the hospital was different than I had been prepared for. And I had planned to use a squat bar but since I had in epidural I couldn't. I pushed for about an hour and a half. I kept asking how much longer it would take. They just kept saying "it depends on you." I got a little annoyed because I just wanted some kind of target or estimate so I could break it up in chunks. I had no idea if I would be pushing for a few more minutes or a few more hours. Jon and the nurse and the doctor were supportive and cheered me on. Jon told me when he could see the hair and told me it was dark and showed me with his fingers how long it looked. That really motivated me. I got a little annoyed when one nurse I hadn't seen yet came in to cheer me on, but I also was grateful to her because she pulled out stirrups to help support my legs and gave me arm bars to grip and pull against when pushing. This made my arms so sore but I think it really sped up the pushing process.

 By the end I was hurting so bad. My legs were tired, my neck was tired (from leaning up to push). I had a headache because they told me not to breathe when pushing (which I still think is dumb). The pain in my bottom was so intense. They told me I could rest if I wanted but by the end I did not want to rest. It hurt too bad to try to hold in the pushes and I was ready for it all to be over. They brought out a mirror for me to watch myself pushing- a good idea, I thought at first. I quickly got discouraged because I could hardly see anything and it seemed like the little bit of his head I could see would go back in after each push. I felt like I was making no progress plus didn't like seeing myself all exposed and I kept seeing blood. I closed my eyes most of the time because I didn't want to watch anymore. When Jackson crowned- that was the hardest part but I also knew it was almost time. The doctor broke the bed away for delivery and suited up in her gown. They made me hold in a few pushes at the end so his head could stretch things out a bit more. That part hurt, A LOT.

Finally she let me push again and in what felt like seconds he came out. That was such a weird, amazing, gross, and confusing feeling. He came out and seemed to flop into her hands. I heard something hit the floor and thought it was him but I did not panic. As soon as he came out I saw my mom and Jon look at each other and start crying which made me cry, but I think I cried out of fear and relief. The doctor immediately said, "oh I see what the problem is." This made me worried but I knew it was all okay (Jon had give me a priesthood blessing a few weeks before that I would know when it was time to go to the hospital and that Jackson was healthy and would be healthy). Anyway, his cord was wrapped tightly around his neck and he was blueish. The doctor immediately told Jon that she would be cutting the cord and he could trim it later. We had no objections, we just wanted our baby to be safe. Jackson was also covered in Meconium, which I never really saw, but that is what I heard hit the floor. (Jon said it went everywhere and I saw a little of it after labor, still on the floor before they came to do a deep cleaning). They laid Jackson on my stomach for like half a second and then quickly took him away to clean him up. I was really freaked out when I saw him. He looked scary and was covered in gunk. I have to say, I was glad they didn't have me hold him right away. I was so overwhelmed and he looked like a tiny monster, not a cute cuddly baby. Jon and my mom went back and forth between the baby and me, making sure we were both okay. I was pretty out of it and looked over from time to time to see what was going on. I didn't know what to think or how to feel. Eventually they let me hold him skin to skin which was exciting and scary and overwhelming and amazing. He was so alert and awake. He was so happy. A short time later they had me feed him. Jon had to help me feed him most of the time in the hospital- I was so sore and tired I could hardly hold him. Jon had to really do all of the work- I just provided the milk.



I asked to go to the bathroom a short time after labor- I didn't think I was numb anymore but the nurse wasn't so sure. She said I could go in a bedpan or go in my pad and then they would change me. I felt so helpless and sick- like I was dying or something. I chose the bedpan. Anyway, a few hours later I asked to go again- I assured her I could feel my legs so her and Jon helped me to the toilet. On the way there I suddenly couldn't hear- everything felt clogged. I got really dizzy and as they set me on the toilet I sort of lost it. I passed out. I could hardly hear and I felt my eyes rolling around. I remember the nurse calling for help and telling someone I was passing out. Jon got in my face and looked me in the eyes and told me to stay awake. I fought it like crazy and managed to stay semi- with it. I think the way Jon responded helped me from passing out for longer. Afterwards, Jon said I remained pretty coherent and was able to describe the way I was feeling. I had to be completely taken care of after I went to the bathroom. They put me in a wheelchair to go back to bed. I had never felt so dependent or sick. I felt like someone who was dying or terminally ill. I remember the whole time I was in the hospital I thanked everyone for every little thing they did for me. I felt so incapacitated and just someone giving me a drink meant the world to me.

I fell asleep and missed most of Jackson's first bath. My parents had gone home to shower but Jon got to help with the bath. Here is a picture he took of the nurse who also helped bathe Jackson:



The first night in the hospital I didn't even wake up to Jackson crying. I slept from about 12:00 to 5:30 straight. The nurses took Jackson to do a hearing test and neither Jon or I heard them come in. Jon woke up to Jackson crying at 3:30 am and soothed Jackson and put him back to bed. I should have probably fed him but Jon didn't want to wake me. It felt so good to sleep. I did not change a single diaper in the hospital. I also barely held Jackson. I held him for feedings and that was about it. I loved him so much and wanted to hold him but I was still so weak and still trying to adjust to everything. The time in the hospital went by so fast. It was full of doctors, pediatricians, nurses, photographers, kitchen staff, visitors, and everyone else coming to check me, Jackson, or ask us questions. By the last day, we were ready to go home. Finally around 2pm on Tuesday, they released us. We headed home to officially start our lives as a family of 3.

Time for Some Goals

For Family Home Evening a few weeks ago, Jon wanted to work on Goals for the new year together. He had all kinds of good ideas for personal and family goals. I quickly became overwhelmed and just cried. I told him that if I can survive having a baby, learning to feed him, and care for him, and still be a decent wife, then I would be doing ok. I just feel so overwhelmed at times. I loved the idea of doing goals- we do them every year, but it just felt like way too much for me. The last few days though, I have been feeling like I really need to make some goals- I don't want to become complacent or get stuck in a rut. I also want to give myself credit for any small accomplishment towards my goals, rather than beating myself up if I don't complete them perfectly. So without further ado...

1) When I tell someone I will pray for them/their family- mean it and do it (I think I always mean to do it but just forget sometimes. I really want to make a conscience effort to remember).

2) Pray for missionary experiences, speak up, and invite- I get SO nervous even praying for experiences because I know they will come. I am not ashamed of the gospel but it is hard for me to share, especially with all of the negative ideas that are out there about LDS. It is so special to me that I don't want any controversial arguments to spark because of it.

3) Read more/be still. I have gotten into a rut where I just don't enjoy reading- it bores me. My mind races and I have so many ideas, it is just so hard to sit and be still. I do everything fast paced (just like my mom!). I was shocked when I married Jon because he doesn't rush around all of the time but he works extremely hard- he really helps me stay in balance. Also, Jon is so studious and I want to be more like that.

4) Improve even more at budgeting and saving money.

5) 100% visiting teaching (or realistically, improve on what I did last year- which was an improvement on past years)

6) Find a hobby or a class or something for me to do to give me fulfillment outside of home, church, and work. I really want to volunteer again but I know this will be tricky with a new baby, especially at first. I also want to take a class- yoga or pottery or maybe even Karate. I would love to coach sports again too. But I won't do all of this at once- these are just some ideas I have.

7) More meaningful prayers- so many nights I embarrassingly pray so absentmindedly. I will thank Heavenly Father for a good night's rest as we are praying before bed. I just don't think and I rush sometimes. I want to say sincere prayers that are more thought out. I also want to pray out loud more individually.

Another Pre-Baby Post

It feels as if this baby will never really be here. I am due in a week, I cannot even believe it!! I am not really getting impatient, it is just hard to imagine that he will actually be in our home and in our lives as a real person. We have been talking about it for so long and my belly is huge, but it feels so surreal still. I know it will still feel that way, even after he is born.

Overall I feel Super- considering I have gained 40 pounds, am still working full-time, and am 39 weeks. I have aches and pains and I have had a few emotional cries but I feel good overall. The most annoying symptoms right now are: peeing, waking up almost every night at 3am-wide awake (it is 3:42am as I type this), some throwing up at night, backpain, and pain in my pelvis. I have had a lot of contractions for the past week or so. Some are actually really strong and others I only notice because I put my hand on my stomach and feel the tightness.

The last few times at the doctor they have checked and I am not dilated at all but my cervix is softening...hope that isn't TMI for anyone. I really am excited and anxious for little man to come but I am not rushing it. I am taking advantage of every extra day and getting as much done as possible. The most important thing Jon and I have been doing is taking time to just lay in bed and talk and be together. It has been so special and I know it will be more difficult to have moments like that. Sometimes I get really sad because as excited as I am for baby, I will miss it being just him and I. We have so much fun together. But I know our little man will add so much joy into our lives and we are SO excited for him to join in our craziness. I wouldn't change that for anything.

Jon started a new semester of grad school this week- his class is school law. It is going to be a tough one and I dread his busy workload on top of the baby and everything else. I know he will do a great job and he balances things really well, but it will be hard because it means less time together.

Jon's latest project- redoing the laundry room

so focused

37 weeks and 3 days (1/5/14)

Our gratitude jar from 2013- it was so special to read all of our blessings from the year 2013.

Back in the day- speaking of which, I finally ordered our wedding book!

LOVE this picture!!

2013 Review

I keep seeing posts about the year 2013 in review and New Year’s Resolutions. I guess I will join the club. 2013 was a wonderful year for us. It was full so many wonderful things and I feel like Jon and I grew closer together and did a lot together. Here is the rundown:

January- Jon’s first trip to Ikea, we had snow, (which is rare for where we live) and Jon finished our bathroom remodel

February- Amazing Valentines Day (scavenger hunt, sidewalk chalk, fondue, guitar serenades) and snow again!

March- A trip to Virginia to see Jon’s brother Brian and his family- we spent Easter with them and had a wonderful trip (as always), I got Jon his very own Easter basket which was so fun for me, I made green eggs and green oatmeal for St. Patrick’s Day breakfast (my mom was visiting and it freaked her out a bit). We also went to Georgia in early March so Jon could play guitar for a talent show for my brother and his wife. While in Georgia, I surprised Jon by taking him to the place we had our first date! We also had the incident with the robin in our chimney in March.

April- We went camping for the first (and only time) with just the two of us. We went to the temple then camped at a National Park that is a swamp. In the morning we walked on a trail and looked at the museum. It was AMAZING there! We are dying to go back to canoe. We also hit up a sweet potato festival- it was SO southern. TMI alert: I believe this is also the month we decided to begin “trying” to have a baby!

May- We took a trip to Utah for Jon’s Grandpa’s funeral. It was a very sad occasion but also wonderful to see his family. It was a quick but good trip. Jon pampered me for Mother’s Day (even though we didn’t know I was expecting yet). We also did our Outer Banks trip with my parents and cousins for the second year in a row. My sister and her kids came this year. It was a blast!! They even came and stayed with us and were there when we found out the biggest news of the year: May 20, 2013- Pregnancy test=positive!

June- Jon had his first Father’s Day (knowing that a baby was on the way!) My sister and her kids came back for another week and we had so much fun with them. I also started my morning sickness around this time. I remember throwing up skittles-that was fun. Anyway, Jon’s brother Mike and his family came to visit from Colorado and we went up to Virginia with them to see Jon’s brother Brian and family. It was SO fun to be together and we had a blast going to Virginia Beach, catching fireflies, and watching the kids wrestle. I got super sick during Sacrament- I went to the bathroom and had a horrible experience with morning sickness. Let's just say, I am so glad I made it to the bathroom.
July- went canoeing and to a friend’s house for the 4^th. I wanted an Oreo shake on the way to canoeing. It quickly all exited my body once we were on the canoe. I sat on the shore while Jon fished and canoed. My tummy could not handle the movement. We also had a family reunion on my mom's side at an awesome lake house in Virginia. Jon killed the biggest spider I have seen in my life. I also got super sick there one of the days.

August- We went on a high adventure with the young women at church. We went white water rafting and climbing. I was not sick! Also, at the end of the month, some of my dad's side of the family gathered for Labor Day. My sister and her kiddos surprised me with a visit for my birthday and it was the best gift ever!! We had so much fun with everyone!
September- Apple Fest, Free Museum Day, and on 9/9/13 we found out we were having a baby BOY!
October- Church baby shower, bought our shed and built a lean to, hosted book club, Halloween, and 2nd Anniversary trip to Charleston
November- awesome fondue date, went hiking/fishing with a family from church, finished up most of the Nursery, went to Maryland/D.C. for Thanksgiving
December- busy month getting ready for baby and Christmas, Jon perfected his camping stove, Jon started the laundry room remodel, Christmas!, and a wonderful New Years Eve with church friends.

Christmas 2013

Our Christmas this year was different than we had planned, but it was wonderful. A year or so ago, we had planned to spend Christmas in Colorado with Jon's family. Once I found out I was pregnant and due a month after Christmas, we decided to spend Christmas more locally, but still travel a few hours. We finally made plans to go to Virginia to spend Christmas with Jon's brother Brian and his family. A month or more before, I got the ok from my midwife and we set up plans to go. Well, the Friday before Christmas, I asked the midwife again, just to be sure and she said no- basically they don't recommend traveling more than an hour away after 34 weeks. I was at 35 weeks at this point. She told me a horror story about a girl who had her water break and she was just over an hour away and had to deliver at a hospital where they had none of her information.

While the midwife told us this, I still said in my head we were going, I didn't really care what she said. After all, I went white water rafting during my second trimester- which was breaking all of the rules. Well Jon and I thought about it, talked about it, asked for advice, and prayed a lot. I started to feel really uneasy about going and felt as if we should stay home. We both had a hard time distinguishing the spirit from our own thoughts. Ultimately we both felt better about staying home. Neither one of us thought I would go into labor or have anything bad happen if we went, but just felt more at peace with staying home. I started to get pretty sore one of the days we were deciding- I think it helped us realize traveling might be a little harder than we thought.

So we stayed. I think this decision was more agonizing than any other we have made together. We cried and prayed a lot. I hated so much that Jon wouldn't be with his family. I told him he could go without me but he wouldn't. We made the decision 100 percent together and I feel like it strengthened us. It is so hard to follow the spirit, especially when the answer isn't what you want.

We had a wonderful Christmas. On Christmas Eve we went and saw Catching Fire and then went to our friend's home for food and reading of the Christmas story in Luke 2. Afterwards we went caroling with both sets of missionaries. Once we got home we read the story about the Christmas Orange- a tradition in Jon's family. Jon pulled our mattress into the living room and we slept out by the tree. It was so relaxing.

The next morning I woke up early and kept trying to get Jon up but he was out. I was so excited to open gifts and see him open the gifts I got him. I finally fell back asleep until about 7:15 and then I was able to wake him up. It was a quiet and simple Christmas but it was wonderful. I got Jon a fishing vest, some children's books about fishing (some he requested, others just for fun) and clothes for work. Jon got me rain boots, some board games, and a painting that I have been wanting for years. He made French toast, bacon, and eggs for breakfast. Later that day we ate steak, mashed potatoes, gravy, and green beans for dinner. We filled our day skyping with a TON of family! It was so fun to talk to almost everyone! We also played games and just relaxed. Our Christmas break was very relaxing and we were able to get a lot done around the house.

My parents came the weekend after Christmas and we did Christmas with them and two of my nephews. We also babysat that weekend (what was I thinking) We babysat 5 kids, plus my 2 nephews, plus my neighbor. It was insane but fun! 3 of the kids were 2 years old! I was worn out after everyone left that weekend. Also, my dad and Jon hit a deer on their way home from home teaching Sunday night. They were fine but my parents car was not so lucky.

Elder Simkins, Elder Zambrano, Sister Miles, Sister Kronmiller, and me.

One More Month!

Can you even believe our baby boy is due a month from today? I am in disbelief, time has just flown by!

The third trimester started out good, but I have progressively gotten more tired, more uncomfortable, and more sore. Overall I feel pretty great, so I can't complain. I feel totally unprepared for labor/delivery, life post-postpartum, and motherhood. It seems like the more I read or learn, the less I know.  Jon and I really feel the power of the story of Mary and Joseph, with me expecting at this time of year. We feel like we can relate on some level, and we wonder how much more inadequate they must have felt. It is amazing to think that the Savior of the world was a tiny baby once.

I love feeling little man move and I love when Jon can see and feel him. Jon reads and/or sings to our son every night. I love it so much. He is already so involved. I still am not totally sure about contractions-people always ask about this. I feel like I have had some here and there but it is hard to tell. I woke up 2 nights ago with a big/tight one and I woke Jon up to tell him. (I feel bad because I always wake him up when I feel something, I can't help it).

The most common things I hear from people is: "you're huge!" "you are all baby!" you are all belly!" you are so tiny!" (yes, I get told I am huge and tiny) "I could tell it was a boy because you are carrying low." 

We had two baby showers- one at church and one at my work. Everyone has been incredibly generous and giving, we feel so loved and blessed. Of course it feels like there is still always more that we need, we have been blessed to get a HUGE amount of things for free, most of which are very gently used and in great shape!

I am still working full-time. Fortunately, we have a low number of clients right now so I have been able to work from home more than usual. I am planning to go back to work part-time (16 hours a week). I am still not sure about how it will all work out, but Jon and I feel it will be good for me to have something to do to keep from going stir-crazy, since I am used to working outside of the home. This part-time position was very unexpected and is a huge blessing. I get to stay with my same team and do my same job, just work less. It should be pretty flexible as well and I can still do my notes and emails from home. I will just have to leave for sessions with clients, meetings, and trainings.

Financially I feel nervous, since our income will be cut significantly, plus I will lose my insurance benefits when I go part-time. Not to mention we will have a whole bunch of new expenses thanks to baby. I know we will make it work but it is scary to think about. Jon and I have tried to be good with our money but of course it feels like we always are buying something. Hopefully being frugal and utilizing student loans will help us survive.

I am so nervous, excited, overwhelmed, anxious, scared, worried, happy, and everything in between. Ready or not, this boy is coming soon!!

glad he does the lights, I hate doing the lights

The star is my favorite part!

33 weeks and 1 day

the walls aren't so crazy in real life

Jon at 2 months (and his sister), a frame for baby, and me at 2 months

the walls look way better in real life

35 weeks!

"cutting" down our tree from Lowes

Freeze Time

Right now I am in a place where I just want to freeze time. Yes, I am excited for the baby to come, but I also get a little sad when I realize it will never just be Jon and I as a family again. I love spending time with him, he is my very best friend. I feel like we have done so much together in the short time we have known each other. I will miss it being just him and I. Despite being really busy, we still get to spend a lot of time together- especially now that Jon is on break from grad school for a month. The other night after we decorated the tree and the living room was lit up for Christmas, I put on a song and slow danced with Jon. I got emotional as I realized how much I just wanted to freeze that moment forever. It was perfect.

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving! We went up to Maryland to be with my cousins, parents, and some aunts and uncles. My cousin Max just loves Jon. They are great buds. It is so cute seeing them together. Max doesn't have any brothers so Jon is really like a brother to him. He is only 13 but is very mature and is a great kid.

The pie bakers- Aunt Cindy, mom, Jon

Jon's Sour Cream Apple Pie

Max and Jon pre-bike ride

Uncle Otto and Aunt Susy

the crew

We went on a walk to see the Potomac River and Falls- it was gorgeous!

freezing cold- Aunt Cindy, dad, and mom

he was LOVING the rocks

there was lots of dancing- Aunt Susy and Uncle Otto

We did a sealing session with most of the family- this temple is beautiful!

the crew at the temple visitor's center

My cousin got these hats for all the men- it was so funny

there was lots of jamming- Jon, Simone, Ethan

more dancing- Cosette and Max, so sweet

I am due in 6 weeks and 6 days!! Time is just flying!